Maybe boys got diaries too? Somehow I don’t think so. I should know this, I do have four older brothers. Anyway.
Last year my mom was going through some old boxes of random junk leftover from my childhood and came across a tonne of old diaries.
I have a written record from when I was about seven years old until I was 22 or 23. Mom sent a bunch of them to me in the mail after she had her fill and a few laughs. I've been reading them over the past year.
The funniest ones are from the early years, and were assigned journals from my schoolteachers. Before all the teenage angst and self-obsession started to set in.
I kind of remember this fantasy I had of building my house in the forest and making fabric with a spinning wheel. Clearly I watched Sleeping Beauty and read Little House in the Big Woods and got ideas.
But for whatever reason, I always wanted my own little fort, little room, little nest and to be self-sufficient. I wanted my own universe. And I still do! It’s taking time but I’m slowly creating it.
And you know, I've only just noticed that home is a recurring theme in my life, from when I was seven and wanted to build one, to working with homeless families in shelters in my early 20s in Chicago. Not to mention it is a strong ongoing theme in my artwork.
I do like to think as an artist that when my creations enter someone’s house, they help to build the idea of home, whether it’s a painting, drawing or a textile.
Art has the power to transform a space.
Each piece is a chunk of a universe you get to build, whether you are a collector, curator or creator. I think this is the power that I wanted to tap into way back when.
To get strong enough to build a house.
Or maybe CrossFit is my true calling? Hmm.
I'm just happy I had these journals to look back on, to help me understand myself. I recently started journaling again, after a pause of a good 10 years or so. Maybe I'll revive my dreams of a cabin in the woods. #hermitlife
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